The First Kiss

Still so succulently warm

That I can feel the moist dew

On my lips as it seeps through

Surreal, as it whelms my senses

Swells my heart, stirs my soul

Staying forever, safely treasured in my core

 

The wonder of the first is…

It’s the longest you ever kiss

From the conception in your mind

With the cognisance of its existence

The fantasies of its conjecture

The desire to feel it on one’s virgin lips.

 

Seeding the imagination of the unknown

The hunger you’d never known

Is it ambrosial and may satiate?

Or aphrodisiac that may invigorate !

The delicious, amorous,

Euphoric and ecstatic

Yearning to taste the untasted.

Such is the first kiss.

 

It goes beyond the lips

Freezes you and melts you at the same time

An ice flake that tickles down

And lava that engulfs your whole being

Fire that may besiege

It doesn’t end there

 

The fantasy of the first kiss,

Lingers on, the endless times

You keep playing it in your mind

The eternal feeling that’s never repeated

Even if you kiss thereafter a zillion times

That’s the magic of first kiss

 

And then we met

And felt the urge

To unleash the longing

Of thirsty lips

Before I could conjure up

The fantasies of years

Invoke the hankering

I nursed for a period

Serenade my soul

To warm my being

To feel the feeling

of my dream

There it was planted

Brusque and terse

It happened

Oh did it

Was it… my first kiss

 

No that wasn’t it

It was the second, then the third and the nth

So on and so forth…over the days , months years

I stopped counting

But the one I had treasured

The mystic one I lived on

Am still aching for…My first

That never happened !

Advertisements

A Queer Boy Next Door

TOGETHER let’s make this world an equal and inclusive place!

Why wasn’t I heaven sent
Life just pushed me to a lonely descend
Weight of unsolved questions
Tied with my raveled knots
I was left to fight and fend

While those around me
Had it simple and straight
A natural tryst, a social norm
Gravitating effortlessly towards each other

I longed for that feeling
A gaze that beguiled
A touch that set my heart pulsating
Dribbled coloures in my listless life
No flutter, no quiver, no arousal
ever I felt, surrounded with
the most alluring ones in sight

Aching for love, desire
Un-quenched, nothing kindled my fire

And then that accidental touch
twirled my core, twanged some strings
My heart just soared
Rousing my whole being

A buddy, my playmate
I had known for years
Never did I fathom
could en flame the feeling
I was looking for, elsewhere

How I wanted that again
And how I hated wanting it
Guilt, self-loathing , deprecating
A queer truth it was, I wished to refrain

How I could tell them, my want was pure,
A sweet lust, finally firing my allure.
But why! Oh hell why me!

It must be my mother, who failed to care
Handed dolls to play with,
dressed me up like a girl
Or that kin, indulging me on sweets
His wandering hands, wanton touch
The price I paid for my puerile greed

My teacher? who loved my golden curls
Favoured me with a lassie’s role in the school theatre
Often she told me, am pretty like a girl
They all damaged me beyond repair

I wanted to be like most
Yet yearned to set free my ghost
To do the things that pleased my heart
To express myself as it felt no harm
But my right was this world’s wrong

Behind my back, how they leer
Sting my back sour,
their gestures and sneers
A stigma to the clan, am cut lose
My own parents think
I am the result of their past life sins

Can you imagine
living a life of a personified curse
A disgrace to those who brought me to this world
Ridiculed by this society, my friends, one and all

I wanted to die
And end this ordeal
Praying to be reborn normal,
I stood on the edge of that cliff
Mustering the courage to embrace death
to bury those fiery dreams with me
I was never meant to realize

Soft breeze, a light drizzle
And a perfect moment
to end for a new start
Just then a soft whisper
Quavered my senses
“There’s nothing wrong with you sweetheart
Just a little different from the rest, we are
Made for each other, though in this world a misfit
We are forever Together in it “

Courage is a luxury!

Courage is a luxury!

For those who ain’t got a choice
And for many it’s a way of life

The one who barters her body
And mortgages her soul
Every night
To buy…
A new lease of life
For her cancer bedeviled mother
Hope for her siblings
By paying for the hovel’s roof, school and food
Love and affection of her father
Fending for his daily alcohol appetite
Every morning
Stitching her tattered vagina
Innumerable miscarriages be the collateral damage,
She lives, yet a part of her dies
Courage to her is, quintessential !

A War hero
With a glass eye and a wooden hand
Crippled halfway down
Battered by a hidden landmine
Patriotism still beating his aging heart
Honesty still brimming through his veins
His glorious memories of battlefield, keeping him alive
Yet often rebuked by kith and kin, living off his pension
For never putting himself before the countrymen
Courage for him is a, hyperbolic expression!

And many more…
A slum dweller,
Choosing honest labour in the harsh sun
An impaired man, learning skills over asking for alms
An acid attack survivor, spreading smiles through her scarred, burnt face
A revolutionary poet, a fireman, a selfless activist…
Waking up each day, sticking their neck out
taking upon the challenge to bring a change
Starting with their wattle and daub
Fighting fires, radiating joy, standing up for each right cause
So many …
Not breaking, not bending, rising against all odds
Courage to them is, elemental !

For rest of us
Living a thousand lies
Camouflaging mediocrity under the la-di-da
Seeking refuge in ersatz emoticons
Basking in our faux pride
The battles are trivial
The triumphs are fake
Social media full of causeless war cries
Clueless, mindless, shying away from reality
Often we seek approval from ‘comments and likes’
Courage for us is, just adrenaline !

Ersatz

abstract-art-face-01.jpg

What do I make of…Your

Prolonged silence

Tacit promise

Terse note

 

Just the hunches of your

Unfinished conjecture

Unspoken words

Unexpressed feelings

Brusque touch

 

Distant… incoherent…inchoate…

I try to join them

Piece by piece

To complete a message

I long to receive!

 

None that I can

Touch… feel… grasp

Makes me wonder

If there was any?

Or I chased a mirage

Unreal and ersatz

A DESIRE OR TWO…

A desire or two

Browbeaten and bottled up

Secured safely, archived in the cellar

Lost sight and forgotten

Under the dusty layer of clay.

 

A hankering rambler

Wanting to quench

Opened the window of the cellar

Taking a sneak peek

Into the watering hole, well arrayed.

 

Entering the dark corners

Damp and musty

Stirring the long trapped

Air inside

The wanderer found his quay.

 

The tightly shut cover

Loosening its grip wanting to breathe

Got a whiff of the vintage spirits

Intoxicated and provoked

Nudged the lid away.

 

Losing the cover

Laid bare the desires

No longer caged and bedevilled

Leapt out of control

Slid and had their way.

Love

Love… Someone define I haven’t felt for a while Haven’t heard for sometime Haven’t seen it kindle The spark of late Transpiring the emotion Connecting the soul mates So celestial but blind To the r…

Source: Love

Love

Love…

Someone define

I haven’t felt for a while

Haven’t heard for sometime

Haven’t seen it kindle

The spark of late

Transpiring the emotion

Connecting the soul mates

So celestial but blind

To the reason, corollaries

Just flows in songs and rhymes

Yes Love, sublime

 

Hey someone just whispered

The word Love again

Is it the one that resides

In the glint of eyes

Radiance of the halo

Colour of the blush

Gets etched on the heart

Engulfs in its gush

Whelms you to the core

Sways with its unimpeded flow

Makes your soul soar

Ah Love, divine

 

I reached out for a deeper view

Nothing of the ilk or hue

Oh, it was something else

But love

A need, a want, a greed

Sense of possession, conceit

Nothing selfless, nothing unconditional

Totally measurable and transactional,

Pragmatic, tangible

No Love, Sigh

 

Still aching to discover one day

Love as they say

Without a trace of alloy

Changing its properties

In its chaste form

No conditions , no norms

No similes, no metaphors

No whys, no wherefores

Only pure ore

No substitutes, no pseudonyms

Just Love, no synonyms

If Not Now…Then When Shall We !!

If Not Now…Then When Shall We !!

 

Entire sovereign is favouring inaction, indeed party to crime

Everywhere, there is bloodshed, corrupted every mind

There is an impenitent dance of selfishness ‘n’ indifference

Marginalized is the common man, slighted is womankind

 

If we don’t fight for our rights now, then when shall we!

 

Powerful afflicting the weak, making them weaker

Wealthy becoming wealthier, one third still below poverty line

Enslaved, living a life of untouchables and maligned

Screaming for justice, do we heed them whine

 

If we won’t hear them cry, then when shall we!

 

Every religion ‘n’ caste is brewing hatred ‘n’ crime,

Common man so timid and scared, turns an eye blind

Few raise voice are singled out, pay price of being kind

Deprived of justice, subjected to more barbaric crime

 

If we still don’t raise our voice, then when shall we!

 

Media makes a news churning machine, chases TRP rates

The more sensational it is, more it sells in the race

People suffer from social amnesia; issues are dozen a dime,

Fast paced life, refuses to pause, fatigued by daily grind

 

If we don’t move now, then when shall we!

 

Honour for women, pride for daughters, is what we’ve been vying

Youth immersing in drug menace, hope of India’s dying,

Children of today, are future of tomorrow, is a forgotten rhyme

Caste still leads, power still rules, superstitions still haze our minds

 

If we don’t woke up still, then when shall we!

 

Where are those, whose senses are alive ‘n’ blood is still warm

Those brave hearts, who’re willing to fight ‘n’ await a new dawn

Who claim to be nimble n awake, need to create a storm

Those erudite, who dream and strive for a reform

 

If it’s not time to wage a revolution, then when shall we!