Calling….

After fifteen years, I realized why she had cautioned me.

We all have fire inside us!  We all desire to quench our childlike curiosity. We have ability to dare, to learn and practice new things. But as we grow we are taught to follow the prefigured system and make safe choices instead of following our heart. Before we realize we have already fallen prey to the snare laid across the paths already stridden and thence our fire is extinguished. So was mine.

I was happily married with two beautiful children and a caring spouse who was ascending the corporate ladder successfully. I too had a decent part time job to keep myself busy and contended till my children were away to school.

What more can one ask for!

It was a life of most of us and there was nothing wrong with it. However, in the midst of all this, I was restless…… I was happy, contented, going with the flow yet restive!

What happened to my promise I made to Achala!

Where was that little girl who had dreams in her eyes and a warrior’s spirit to realize them.

A suffragette by birth who wrote a poem at sixteen, waging her war against God for not giving women an equal status in the world, while her classmates were batting eye lashes to potential baits.

What was my Calling…..So I picked up my pen after several years and wrote again that night.

Calling….

I am walking in a crowd

With myriad of people around

Walking in different directions, at different pace

As if it was a race

 

There are moments of achievements

There are moments of togetherness

There is mist and there’s fog

There’s fear of getting lost

 

While making some and am breaking some rules

Getting my applaud and also getting ridiculed

An angst, a desire

There’s hope n there’s despair

 

A strange restlessness, something I need to attain

It’s a life we all live, not that I complain

It’s a bitter sweet journey with loved ones, yet there’s a pain

A longing for something, a feeling of vain

 

Want to find my path, my stance and life’s pure meaning

Why I am here, where do I belong and what’s my true calling

Oh tell me, up there, show me my goal

Take my hand and lead me, closer to my soul !!

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